Bucket List

This weekend I am heading north (yes, there is something North of where I live!) to do some kayaking and camping.  To some this might not seem all that exciting or interesting but for me this is a well needed break from my real life.  A fairly large group of us are going to kayak the sea caves on Lake Superior and then check out the ship wrecks with a ferry ride out to Madeline Island for an evening of fun at Tom's Burnt Down Cafe.  I will be camping overlooking Lake Superior, cooking out and enjoying the simpler things in life.  And right now this is something that I really feel I need.  

This was supposed to be a trip that Mark and I were going to do together but literally within 24 hours of him breaking things off a friend asked if I would be interested in going with her on the trip.  Initially I said no as I still felt down  but after having thought about how I shouldn't give up on seeing something I really wanted to see because I couldn't go with Mark I called her and said yes.  Although I can't share this with Mark I think it is more of something that I need to do for me.  I have always wanted to see the sea caves in the summer months as I have seen them in the winter and they are amazing.  I have only seen pictures of the caves during the summer months and I really want to experience them during the summer.  I have also always wanted to see the ship wrecks located outside of Bayfield as well so how could I turn down the chance to do something that I have wanted to do for so many years.  Besides, it's on my bucket list.  

So, I'm off to play on the Big Lake with some wonderful people and see things that I have always wanted to see.  The picture you see is of the sea caves in winter.  I was with some of my favorite friends and my youngest.  

Let the Games Begin!

Well, I have started work on my non-profit organization for victims of domestic abuse.  I am actually really excited and so far I have gotten tremendous amounts of positive feedback on the basic principles.  If I can save one person from ever having to go back to their abuser because they didn’t have a place to live once they were told they had to leave a shelter then I think that I was a success.  Hopefully this is an organization that will go national and with a little community spirit we will be able to keep these people from ever becoming a victim of abuse again and they will have a reliable income to sustain themselves and their families.

Now, let’s all cross our fingers and hope for a quick sale on my current home.  Once my home is sold I will be using my alternative building product home that I will be building as the model for my non profit organization.

Wish me luck!

How my sister sees me.

I come from a very large family of all women and as with most families and siblings we all relate and are closer to some siblings.  I'm no different.  I have a sister who is my favorite ass kicker because she won't let me wallow and she doesn't tell me lies to make me feel better.  I talked to her about what has been going on in my life and how down I was and she gave me open honest feed back on what I was allowing to happen.

My attitude has improved by leaps and bounds since I talked to her and I am now reaching for goals that I have allowed my fears to keep from becoming real.  The excitement builds every day and I am actually seeing what I have wanted to create for myself.  Before now it was always a hazy dream effect, lack of reality thing.  Now it is clear and crisp and in full color!

And because I love what my sister writes, here is another shameless plug with her link. Go check her out!

http://hanash-tyrasea.tumblr.com/

Now, according to my sister I am a fairly intuitive person that has a strong family tie.  She sees my animal spirit as the bear (I really can't disagree~these animals move me).  She says that I am blunt but honest.  She feels that I am not trying to hurt someone with my bluntness but that I just don't mince my words and say what I feel and see. So, if you don't want an honest answer, don't ask me a question.  She thinks that I am loving in the same sense as how a young child loves~openly and completely and that I sometimes let the wrong people into my life because I only want to see the good in people.

I don't know if she is right but it makes me happy to think that she loves me enough to pay attention to the small little details that make me who I am.  I love all my sisters tremendously but sister #2 is the only one that helps to keep me on a path to a better me.

Things I've learned so far.

My family is still my biggest and favorite network ever. I wouldn't change a single thing about my family! If anything were different from how it has worked out so far I would not be the person that I am today.

Today I am confident, capable & resilent. I have managed to raise 4 children under some fairly difficult life circumstances. I have found that with the network of family I have been able to come out of those same difficult life circumstances more alive than I ever dreamed possible. I never would have thought that at my age I would return to camping, hiking and a strong love for the outdoors.

I have found that as I become more involved in being responsible for my actions & my life there are changes going on that at times can be scary or at times I actually feel ill. Headaches, cold symptoms, tired or not willing to deal with some of the people that would attach to my energy and try to take it from me. I have to remind myself constantly that my energy is mine & mine alone! No one gets to take that from me!